Monday, November 17, 2008 2:16 AM
The Unavoidable Decision
After all this months, i waited patiently, hoping that one day she might come to her sense and change for the better. Guess i was wrong.
Chance upon her blog, and the images reminds me of the part of her that i dislike so much. I guess i only fall in love with her when i saw the more innocent side of her. The part that cared for me so much and wanting to make me happy. Maybe its the way she showered her love and do those little things for me that makes me want to love her more. And indeed, i did love her more. But i guess i have always been waiting for something that is pretty unrealistic, after all, she is still young. We have 2 totally different mindset right now.
So now, i make my unavoidable move. That is to carry on, to focus on what is best for me. With 2 competitions coming up for me, i should be working on them, rather than isolating myself to my thoughts. This void that i had created around me, seems to pull me further away from all my friends. My mind has been cleared, and just like a magic spell that has been lifted upon me, slowly the effect of her image doesn't gives me that same lovey-dovey feeling anymore.
I would say, i go more for the feelings than the looks. Definitely.. At least, thats a pretty good thing. I won't fall for every pretty girl i see. Lol. I do still feel for her, and i still couldn't throw away those pictures we took. Such memories.. A relationship expert would probably tell me to dump everything related to her out of the window. That is pretty logical. But when it comes to love, who actually follow the logic way out? Few more days would have been our 1 yr anniversary. And we have already parted for like 5 months now? Lol.
I was thinking of really, really throwing everything. I guess it takes time, so i'll give myself sometime and hopefully, on that midnight, i'll throw it away. I plan to go to the place where we used to go when we finish our work. And throw away the disc, where i stored all our beautiful memories in. And on the 12/12 i shall start to live my life to the fullest. No strings attached.
Everyone seems to be living their lives for themselves. Why should i be any different?
Word of advice, if you really wanna move on in a relationship, make sure you really stop it, no point dragging it on. Remove everything that reminds you of the person, delete all the contacts and don't isolate yourself. Have fun, spend time with your family and friends. Don't dwell on it. Make sure you keep yourself busy, get busy. Pick up a new hobby or focus on your passion! CHeers!