Wednesday, March 25, 2009 7:06 PM
Meaningless Life..
What is life seriously about.. I felt that im getting closer to my goal.. Reaching my passion..
Yet, i don't feel a sense of joy or overwhelming happiness.. I wonder to myself, even if i make it as a singer-songwriter, will i be truly happpy.. Somehow, i felt an emptiness inside of me.. A thief creeped silently in the night, stealing my heart and left me here to live like a zombie.. That was a year ago.. But i'm still going through the flashbacks..
I'm suppose to be going around teaching students the right technique of how to exercise. But here i am, sitting at the gym counter typing an entry for my blog.. Am i in depression or what? End of this month, i will be jobless again.. I quit my fitness instructor job.. Planning to focus on writing songs on a full time basis.. I know it sounds stupid.. But my life is already in one stupid bundle.. Never been thinking straight since last year..
Just bought a new motherboard, processor, power supply and ram from Sim Lim.. Going over to SiaoLiaO's house to get it done.. And together with my newly bought 22inch LCD monitor and speakers.. Another $1000 gone.. I have an almost new set of computer.. Can my life be this simple too?! Just rebuild it..
Its time i live and breath music.. I'm afraid to go into another relationship because firstly, i cant seem to like anyone i know of at this moment and secondly, im afraid of trying out a relationship. What if few months down the road, i find that i don't really love her.. And she is deeply, emotionally attached to me.. That would be hurting..
So, for now, i rather sulk alone every night in my room.. And pray that God will throw my future wife at my feet one day.. (Imagine i'm walking down a road and suddenly this pretty and demure looking gal tripped on her heels and landed on my feet. HAha..) Oh Lord, Please do..
PS: Having a performance again, 3rd of April, Friday. 7:30pm-9pm at Far East Plaza.
Most probably imitate Jay Chou for one songs and singing 2 songs with my own voice..
Anyone can recommend me a Jay song that i have yet to sing?